Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Holiday Planning list....

For those of you that are interested, I have been following this list since December 1st. Maybe next year we could all do it together??

December 1
Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.

December 2
Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.

December 3
Using candlewick and hand gilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener.

December 4
Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling ecru, with mocha trim.

December 5
Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.

December 6
Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.

December 7
Debug WindowsNT.

December 10
Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.

December 11
Lay Faberge egg.

December 12
Take Dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble.

December 13
Collect Dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.

December 14
Install plumbing in gingerbread house.

December 15
Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade "holiday scents" in case tires are shot out at mall.

December 17
Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire.

December 19
Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.

December 20
Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.

December 21
Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks.

December 22
Float votive candles in toilet tank.

December 23
Seed clouds for white Christmas. I am totally doing this today....

December 24
Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are.

December 25
Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri.

December 26
Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.

December 27
Build snowman in exact likeness of God.

December 31
New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country

Ok, really it's Martha Stewarts, but maybe next year???

Happy Holidays,


Pat said...

LOVE this list. Do you have a favorite one on there?? LOL (I'm glad, too, that you didn't keep to your idea of NOT blogging until after Christmas. hehehehe) I just sent you an email about the hot cocoa mix. I loved the way mine came out!

Mary Anne Drury said...

Sounds do - able to me.....but I think you forgot oil and lube the car after bearing a son on Christmas Day (because you know you'll be running out later that day to search high and low for an open mini mart to buy diapers ....)

YIKES !!! seriously that Martha is gonna run us regular slackers into the ground ..... INTO THE GROUND I TELL YA!!!!

Anyhow .... thanks for the holiday chuckle and MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

pat sloan said...

Your ON... we are TOTALLY doing this next year. I just emailed it to my local friendship group and my step mom!

Val said...

I'm sitting here cracking up. I love the one about floating candles in the toilet! ROFLOL! One way to give the little boys in the family something to shoot at?!
What a kick those all are.